I recall going on holiday with a friend. She kept saying how much she loved upscale hotels. They made her feel happy and pampered. So, I asked what it would take to reproduce the same feeling at home. We drilled down to getting rid of clutter, having modern furniture with clean lines, using soft neutral colors and ensuring bathroom supplies & linen were restocked daily. The total cost was affordable, even with a personal housekeeper to maintain cleanliness.
After running the numbers, I suggested to my friend that we implement. She shrugged like it was too much trouble, though she could afford it. It then hit me how many times we don’t chase our dreams due to inertia. It’s like our desires are acceptable for other people or celebrities, but not for us. We are normal and not special, so we do not deserve the best.
I made up my mind to do better. One day, I returned from an international trip and for the first time in my life, felt more comfortable at home than in a hotel.
I had another conversation with a friend about my housekeeper.
I worried that though hardworking, she was underemployed. As I didn’t need much done everyday, she had a lot of downtime. She also seemed happiest when I had guests staying over, as she relished the opportunity to take care of multiple people.
My friend said she used to feel the same way. She wanted to change her housekeeper’s schedule to once a week to enable her to pursue other interests and spend time with family. Her helper candidly replied that she was content. Apparently, she was the only girl in a family with many brothers. If she were at home, she would be doing 5x the work with no pay. Working for my friend was her route to freedom and she had no plans to spend more time at home.
The third conversation was somewhat related.
It was about the reality of Working From Home (WFH) due to COVID-19 restrictions. I was going on about how it was a good trend; that a lot of people would enjoy it. This same friend pointed out that it was not great for people who earn a living by being physically present – cleaners for instance. She also said working remotely is for those who actually have a “home”.
For many people, work is a daily escape from abuse and poverty. It’s the only place they experience constant electricity and Internet access. The only location with running water and clean toilets. Where no one is screaming at them or ordering them around. She predicted many would have nervous breakdowns if offices didn’t open up soon.
These three conversations reminded me about perspectives. That I want something, doesn’t mean others want it in the same way or even at all. My life is a bubble shaped by my experiences, expectations, beliefs and ambitions. Others have theirs too and many times what is “doing me” is just not doing them.
For more, please read Little Wins.
Many times we don't chase our dreams due to inertia. It's like our desires are acceptable for other people or celebrities, but not for us. We are normal and not special, so we do not deserve the best. Click To Tweet