God heals but he doesn’t heal all the time. God delivers but he doesn’t deliver all the time. You can die in faith. The biblical book of Hebrews tells us many patriarchs passed away, without receiving the outcome of their faith. There are many cancer patients with faith as small as a mustard seed.

The most trying period of my Christian walk, was when I believed God had failed me; that he had betrayed me. Yet, my life story would be incomplete without grace.

I remember being prepped for surgery once, only for the Doctor to not find what he came to operate on. Miracles have happened to me. Yet the Healer chose not to heal my dying parents. The Many Breasted One has also failed to fill the lonely spaces of my mind and soul.

Sometimes I feel God has “brain touch” every now and then. Very unpredictable is he.

I’ve experienced trials and temptations and as a result, my Christianity has taken on new flavours. I have become more understanding and more loving of others. I am now deeply touched by suffering and I want to do my small part to alleviate it. I am more acutely aware of the role that politics plays in ensuring a good quality of life for citizens. I no longer blame God for things humans have caused.

I now love God more, surprisingly. Maybe it’s because I no longer look to him for things. I no longer wait for him to attend to wishes that may or may not be granted; prayers that may or may not be answered.

I am aware that this may communicate a lack of faith. But, I trust that God knows which key will unlock my door of doubt.

The most trying period of my Christian walk, was when I believed God had failed me. Click To Tweet