How do I write about pain without relieving it? It’s a hard thing to do, for if you have never known pain, you will not understand this post.
Whether you’ve experienced physical, emotional, or mental pain, it is not pretty. Instead, it is raw, insistent, and seemingly without end. Worse, it changes you forever.
Reality of Suffering
The first stage of pain is agony. There is no rationalization or explanation that does it justice. It exists whether you pray or philosophize about it, and whether you ignore or treat it. It will hurt without your consent.
You can only hope that God, in His mercy, will shorten the days of your torment and that a treatment or therapy plan will finally work.
So, you allow the pain to take its course. For what can you do? This is a discomfort you cannot run away from. You cannot negotiate with it or cry it away. You simply carry it everywhere you go and function as best as you can.
But beneath the smiling facade, it is there – a ticking reminder that all is not well. It lies in wait for a break in your busy schedule so it can resurface as your most dominant thought. After a while, it becomes a second skin.
I used to wonder why people got addicted to their pain meds and smiled when the doctor warned me about the pills he prescribed. He mentioned they were highly addictive and that I should take them for no more than five days.
After the initial dose, I glimpsed why many prefer addiction to pain. For the first time in a long time, the pain subsided, and I almost sang that tune from Jimmy Cliff, “I can see clearly now, the pain is gone.” I suddenly had the energy to work and live.
Irreversible Transformation
In the second stage of pain, you begin morphing in response to what is happening within you but over which you have no control.
You’ve been sleeping in one-hour fits and starts because the pain keeps waking you up, and so you become temperamental, grouchy, and forgetful due to sleep deprivation.
You lose weight because you really don’t want to eat. Then worry lines and gray hair appear. If your pain is emotional, bitterness surely follows in short order.
You are not the same person that you were before the pain began.
Trauma Response
If your treatment plan works, you don’t automatically revert to who you once were before the pain.
Even if your recovery period is finite and doesn’t require constant follow-up, pain leaves behind a scar in the form of memories.
And so, for weeks, months, or years, you become numb. Your body and mind are trying to process what you went through, long after family and friends assume you are okay. You don’t just move on.
Healing and Character
The final stage of pain is character formation. After the trauma, you finally have the presence of mind to ruminate on what the experience taught you.
Some of the humblest and most peaceful people that I’ve met have experienced great pain. They stop being control freaks, having been out of control for such a long period of time. They become more tolerant and accommodating of other people’s troubles.
Those who have overcome pain no longer give a damn about societal expectations. They stop putting off plans and start living. And they are just happy to be alive, having survived the threat of death.
Are You in Pain?
If you are currently in pain, I stop to acknowledge it. You deserve recognition and so, I see you.
While I may not know what stage of pain you’re in, I say a quiet prayer for strength, hope, and recovery. May you find a breather in the midst of the pain. Amen.
Thank you for reading.
The final stage of pain is character formation. After the trauma, you finally have the presence of mind to ruminate on what the experience taught you.
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For more, read Stop, Press, Pain