To build a relationship with God, you must first rid yourself of your fear. The fear of the Lord is not the same thing as being fearful of God.
To build a relationship with God, you must also forgive yourself. In the Gospels, Jesus used to say, “Your sins are forgiven.” This is because it’s difficult to build a relationship with someone who makes you feel guilty or someone you think is condemning you. Jesus calls us brothers and sisters. He puts us on the same pedestal with him. We are seated with him in heavenly places. Stop feeling condemned and inferior.
I know it’s hard to imagine God’s love. You’ve scarcely experienced love from family or friends. You’ve rarely encountered mercy, kindness and justice. But God is waiting to demonstrate his love to you, if you’d let him. Open your heart.